Missed Connection by K. Larsen & Mara White

Author:K. Larsen & Mara White [Larsen, K.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2016-01-03T16:00:00+00:00

I can still taste her. She’s gone back to her room and I feel cold and let down but what else could I do? Her creamy skin laid bare to me was better than any fantasy I could have ever envisioned. All that silken hair spread over the pillow was enticing. Those freckles across her shoulders, her collarbone. I groan and turn the shower on. Cold. She’s made me feel intoxicated to the point of never wanting to be sober again. The feel of her lips on me; sucking, pumping, licking was euphoric.

Her moans were the most religious thing I’ve experienced. The way her back bowed as she came, set my core on fire. I want to feel myself inside her. I need to be with her—more than we were. I crave it. She awakened something inside me that has been long dormant. I dread leaving tomorrow. Not seeing her face in the morning, the afternoon and at night. I step into the shower and try not to yelp at the cold water. The icy deluge does little to quell the need I still feel but it’s better than nothing.

After stepping out, I towel dry my head then wrap it around my waist. I wipe my palm over the mirror to clear the fog. My reflection shows a healthy looking man. A man with a deep contentment—an obvious contentment glow. A man with a future. It doesn’t show the ache in my right side. It doesn’t show the constant metallic taste in my mouth. It doesn’t show my viral load or scarring or stigmas. I punch the mirror and watch as the glass splinters and falls into the sink. Blood trickles from my knuckles but it doesn’t hurt. Or maybe I’m just too upset to feel the pain. I run the water and stick my hand under the flow. Blood tinges the sink pink before washing away. I look in the vanity for Band-Aids but can’t find any, so I wrap my hand in toilet paper. It won’t clot for a while. I’ll need more toilet paper. I make sure the blood is all cleaned up. I pull on my boxers and toss my towel over the shower rod.

I flop into my bed and yank the covers up over me, fluff my pillow and roll to my side. The moon is barely a half moon but it seems to light up the entire world. Like Jess is lighting up mine. I don’t want it to be over. I don’t want to wait any longer. I don’t want real life and truths and fears to infiltrate what we’ve just barely started. I shove the covers off me and fumble around in the dark for my pajama pants and a thermal shirt. Next, I slip on my sneakers and blow through the cabin door and down the path to the dock. I don’t sit. I can’t. I walk right out to the end and stop. It’s fucking cold out here. I need to just come out and talk to her.

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